I am a widower of five years. Two years ago, I started dating another woman. At that time, I removed all pictures of my late wife from around the house, and I consciously do not speak of her out of sensitivity to my new relationship. The one exception I make is with the wallpaper photo on my cellphone, which is of my departed wife. I want never to forget her, and seeing her face frequently on my phone helps me to keep that pledge. My current love objects to this picture on my phone, though, and wants me to remove my late wife’s image. What do you think?

BILL

Don’t let anyone, including your girlfriend or me, tell you how to grieve or when to move on. Only you know what you need, Bill. We all heal at different paces and fall back into stabbing sadness at unexpected intervals. So, I will gladly share my thoughts, if you promise that you will be the final arbiter here.

You may have overdone it by going cold turkey on your late wife: removing all pictures of her from your home and never talking about your marriage with your girlfriend. I respect your thoughtful motivation, but acting as if a huge part of your life never happened probably wasn’t healthy for you or your new relationship.

Try revisiting these issues with your girlfriend now. (I also get that seeing a picture of your late wife flash onto your phone 10 times a day could be upsetting to her.) Perhaps restoring some photos around the house and sharing tales from your marriage will help you keep important memories alive, allow your girlfriend to know you better and let you change your phone’s (high-visibility) wallpaper, too?

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I Owe You Nothing

My friend’s boyfriend sent a group text to me and five of her close friends inviting us to a surprise brunch for her birthday. She was turning 31. We all said yes. I even got a sitter and brought my husband. When we arrived, the food kept coming. It was more than I needed, but it was delicious. My friend told us how sweet her boyfriend is: “Aw, he brought me pancakes in bed this morning.” The boyfriend added: “I’m not into buying material things. I’m an experience guy.” When we were leaving, he asked: “Do you want to pay now, or should I text what you owe?” I was shocked. It was a brunch. We’re adults. He invited us. And he’s the “experience guy.” Should I say something?

STEPH

I’m struggling to understand the true source of your aggravation. Sure, the boyfriend should have been clear from the beginning that he wasn’t paying for your meal. (Maybe he couldn’t afford to if there were other plus-ones?) Still, it’s just a garden-variety error. His bad!

But you seem more annoyed by his taste for experiential gifts: spending the morning in bed with pancakes instead of opening velvet boxes from Harry Winston. The “experience” of brunch, though, is friendly connections over good food (at an awkward hour), not necessarily who pays for it.

I wouldn’t say anything. The boyfriend’s taste in gifts (which I like, but suspect you don’t) is none of our business. If you want to be remembered as a pill, send a snarky note with your Venmo payment. Otherwise, be happy for your happy friend — and ask about payment the next time the boyfriend invites you to dine.

Political Divide

I have a friend who is strongly opinionated like me. Recently, we were watching a political debate, and I suggested that one of the candidates would be better suited to a cabinet position. This led to a long, drawn-out debate on both sides that ended in mutual silence. We haven’t spoken since. Should I drop this person as a friend?

ANONYMOUS

If you (and your friend) are so self-important that you believe others must bend to your will on all matters, including the makeup of fantasy political cabinets, then, yes, drop this person as a friend at once. Otherwise, simply agree to disagree and move on to your next debate. The strongly opinionated need worthy opponents more than most!

Shh!

I have become a crank about people who walk down the street, wait for the bus, stand in elevators, etc. while shouting into their cellphones. I’m pretty good at asking people politely to lower their voices when they’re on too-loud calls in restaurants. (That’s clearly a shared space.) But is it too much to ask of people on the street?

ANA

Not at all — as long as you are prepared for a range of responses. At bus stops and elevators, ask in the same polite way you do in restaurants: “Could you lower your voice, please?”

This has become a perverse hobby of mine: I feel vindicated when phone screamers nod and speak more quietly, and secretly amused when they explode and start swearing like Susie Essman on “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” (If this prospect upsets you, keep quiet. It really happens!)

For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com, to Philip Galanes on Facebook or @SocialQPhilip on Twitter.