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‘Going through the process of learning to love yourself, as monks are also trained to do, teaches you how to love someone else.’

When Jay Shetty graduated from college, he was prepared for two different paths in life: to work in finance, or become a Hindu monk.

After three years at an ashram, Jay returned home to London hoping to share his learning with the world. He had to relearn how to make small talk — and how to flirt. He had his eye on someone special: a down-to-earth woman named Radhi.

Their first date was a disaster. But it helped him realize that Radhi, who would one day become his wife, yearned for a more simple and authentic mode of connection — qualities he knew well from his time in the ashram.

Today on “Modern Love,” Jay shares how anyone can bring the lessons of monkhood into dating and love — even if you’ve never stepped foot in an ashram.

Modern Love is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Julia Botero, Christina Djossa, and Hans Buetow. The show is edited by Sara Sarasohn, and our executive producer is Jen Poyant. The show is mixed by Marion Lozano and recorded by Maddy Masiello. It features original music by Rowan Niemsto and Marion Lozano. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.

Special thanks to Jay Shetty’s team – Nicole Berg and Annie Gingold – Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Jeffrey Miranda, Renan Borelli, Nina Lassam, Julia Simon and Anna Diamond at Audm.

Thoughts? Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com.

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