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“Since I turned 18, hearing men have flirted with me and taken me out on dates. The only thing they have in common is the promise they all make: ‘I’ll learn sign language for you.’”
A transcript of this episode is available at the top of the page. Please click the “transcript” icon on the audio player.
When Ross Showalter turned 18 and began dating hearing men, he found himself communicating with them on their terms: using spoken language. Years of speech lessons and lip-reading practice forced Ross, who is Deaf, to conform to a society that favors sound. All of these men made the same promise: to learn sign language, only to never follow through.
Then, on a spring day in the midst of the pandemic, Ross met Will. Will vowed to shatter the pattern of false promises that had haunted Ross’s dating life.
Today, we invite you to carefully listen to Ross’s story, read by the Deaf actor Joshua Castille. Then, stick around to hear host Anna Martin catch up with Ross. Ross explains why it’s so powerful for him to communicate in his own language — American Sign Language — and he shares an update on him and Will.
Today’s Story
“A Love Language Spoken With Hands,” Ross Showalter
Hosted by: Anna Martin
Produced by: Julia Botero, Hans Buetow, Christina Djossa, Elyssa Dudley and Anna Martin
Edited by: Sara Sarasohn
Engineered by: Dan Powell
Theme Music by: Dan Powell
Original Music by: Marion Lozano
Read by: Joshua Castille
Written by: Ross Showalter
Founder, Modern Love: Daniel Jones
Editor, Modern Love Projects: Miya Lee
Special thanks: Saamanta Serna and Caden Marshall for interpreting. And to Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Julia Simon, Jeffrey Miranda and Anna Diamond at Audm.
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