Listen and follow Modern Love
Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube |iHeartRadio

‘If stigma around even the idea of having these kinds of thoughts is lessened, is it possible that women will feel less shame about actually asking their sexual partners for more of what it is that they might want?’

The actor Gillian Anderson (“The X-Files,” “The Fall,” “Sex Education”) has become an advocate for sexual openness, whether through her on-screen personas, launching a libido-boosting soda brand, attending the Golden Globes in a vulva-embroidered dress or through her new book, “Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous,” which showcases the secret fantasies of anonymous women, curated by Ms. Anderson herself.

Today, Ms. Anderson reads and discusses the Modern Love essay “On Tinder, Off Sex,” which follows a woman who becomes unintentionally celibate after a painful breakup. The author fantasizes about past and potential loves but can’t seem to break out of what her doctor has called “secondary abstinence.” Ms. Anderson tells us about a time she felt similarly, and how a good yoga practice snapped her out of it.

We want to hear from you. Tell us how love is showing up in your own life. Call in at (212) 589-8962‬ with your name, location and story.

Links to transcripts of episodes generally appear on these pages within a week.

Modern Love is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Reva Goldberg, Emily Lang, Davis Land and Amy Pearl. The show is edited by Lynn Levy and Jen Poyant, our executive producer. Production management is by Christina Djossa. The show is mixed by Daniel Ramirez and recorded by Maddy Masiello and Nick Pitman. It features original music by Pat McCusker, Dan Powell, Marion Lozano, and Aman Sahota. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.

Special thanks to Larissa Anderson, Dahlia Haddad, Lisa Tobin, Brooke Minters, Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Jeffrey Miranda, Isabella Anderson, Christine Nguyen, Reyna Desai, Jordan Cohen, Victoria Kim, Nina Lassam and Julia Simon.

Thoughts? Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com.

Want to submit your own Modern Love essay to the column editors? Read the submission instructions. Note that the Modern Love column has two submission periods, September through December and March through June. The column does not accept submissions in July, August, January or February. Submissions made during those months will be deleted unread.

Want more from Modern Love? Read past stories. Watch the TV series and sign up for the newsletter. We also have swag at the NYT Store and two books, “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss and Redemption” and “Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less.”