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‘I’d never seen my father really happy before. I’d never seen his love for me shine through. But here it was.’

Heather Sellers wrote her Modern Love essay in 2013, about reconnecting with her elderly, estranged father. Although their relationship was painful, Heather made sure that her last words to her father were “I love you.” And at the time, that felt like closure.

Now, 10 years later, Heather tells our host, Anna Martin, that she would write a completely different essay today. She sees her father, and herself, in a new light — and realizes that “forgiveness” isn’t as simple a concept as she once believed.

Modern Love is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Julia Botero, Christina Djossa, Hans Buetow and Cristal Duhaime. The show is edited by Jen Poyant, our executive producer, and Anabel Bacon. The show is mixed by Daniel Ramirez and recorded by Maddy Masiello. It features original music by Dan Powell, Marion Lozano, Pat McCusker, Rowan Niemisto and Sophia Lanman. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.

Special thanks to Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Jeffrey Miranda, Renan Borelli, Nina Lassam, Julia Simon and Paula Szuchman.

Thoughts? Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com.

Want more from Modern Love? Read past stories. Watch the TV series and sign up for the newsletter. We also have swag at the NYT Store and two books, “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption” and “Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less.”