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Julia Botero, Christina Djossa, Elyssa Dudley and

Sara Sarasohn and

Dan Powell and

An illustration of a man and a woman with very long torsos. They are holding hands and the man's torso is curved downward so he is looking at the woman upside down.
Brian Rea

“The only three men I had ever imagined a future with all told me that something was missing,” Oz Johnson wrote in her Modern Love essay. When Oz was 23, her boyfriend said she met 99 percent of his criteria, but she was missing 1 percent. Over a decade later, another man broke up with her via email. Their love was almost perfect, he said, but not enough to last.

What is this missing, unquantifiable feeling? Oz used to be haunted by these rejections, but now she has come to embrace the search for imperfect love.

After: Nancy Cardwell wasn’t looking for love — but then, at 58 years old, she fell passionately in love with tango. Her newfound zeal for the dance took her to Buenos Aires, where she fell in love again — this time, with a man named Luis.

Today’s essay was written by Oz Johnson and read by Samantha Desz. Nancy Cardwell’s story about tango was featured in the It’s Never Too Late series.


Modern Love is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Julia Botero, Christina Djossa, Elyssa Dudley and Hans Buetow. The show is edited by Sara Sarasohn, and our executive producer is Jen Poyant. This episode was mixed by Sophia Lanman and recorded by Maddy Masiello. It features original music by Dan Powell and Marion Lozano. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.

Special thanks to Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Jeffrey Miranda, Renan Borelli, Nina Lassam, Julia Simon and Anna Diamond at Audm.

Thoughts? Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com.

Want more from Modern Love? Read past stories. Watch the TV series and sign up for the newsletter. We also have swag at the NYT Store and two books, “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption” and “Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less.”

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