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‘That was the thing about holiday men: They were cruel, but they were dazzling.’

Kema Christian-Coates’s childhood was filled with “holiday men,” absentee fathers — including her own — who returned each year around Christmas only to disappear again. Her father’s absence left a hole in her life and the fear that she, like her mother and grandmother, would never find a man she could rely on.

Today, we hear Kema’s story on realizing the power of her mother’s and grandmother’s presence in her life and on finding a lasting partnership.

Today’s story

• “The Gift of Missing Men,” by Kema Christian-Coates

Modern Love is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Julia Botero, Christina Djossa, Elyssa Dudley and Hans Buetow. The show is edited by Sara Sarasohn, and our executive producer is Jen Poyant. The show is mixed by Sophia Lanman and recorded by Maddy Masiello. It features original music by Dan Powell and Marion Lozano. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.

Special thanks to Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Mahima Chablani, Jeffrey Miranda, Renan Borelli, Nina Lassam, Julia Simon and Anna Diamond at Audm.

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