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‘According to my app, my baby was the size of a lavender bud: tiny, perfect and mine.’

Amy Pittman was thrilled about her first pregnancy. She immediately downloaded a pregnancy app, and she was charmed when it showed her baby had grown from the size of a lavender bud to the size of a chocolate chip. When she miscarried, she deleted the app and the chocolate chip avatar, but the internet never caught on. Seven months later, Amy received a sample of baby formula. Although she had deleted the pregnancy app, the baby formula company didn’t know — and thought she was a new mom. She laughed — what else could she do — and loved the idea that her chocolate chip was out there, trolling the internet.

After her miscarriage, Amy had a son, Simon. We check in with Amy about life with a preschooler, the lasting impact of grief and the strangeness of an internet that won’t let you let go.

Today’s story

• “The Internet Thinks I’m Still Pregnant,” Amy Pittman

Hosted by: Anna Martin
Produced by: Julia Botero, Hans Buetow, Christina Djossa, Elyssa Dudley and Anna Martin
Edited by: Sara Sarasohn
Engineered by: Dan Powell
Theme Music by: Dan Powell
Original Music by: Dan Powell
Read by: Sam Desz
Written by: Amy Pittman
Founder, Modern Love: Daniel Jones
Editor, Modern Love Projects: Miya Lee

Special thanks: Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Julia Simon, Jeffrey Miranda and Anna Diamond at Audm.

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