I am a 16-year-old girl who was in a serious car crash. I had to have muscle grafts on my legs that are bulky and very noticeable. I am still trying to get used to the way I look. But I want to be body confident and don’t want to feel as if I have to cover them up in public. I’m nervous that people will ask questions or stare at me. What would be the right response if they do (which they probably will)?

LUCY, CALIFORNIA

I don’t know much about muscle grafts, but I do know that “Everybody Got Their Something,” as the great song goes. We are all self-conscious most days. So here’s what I don’t want you to do: walk around with your head down, not looking people in the eye. Or practicing snippy retorts for folks who — you are right! — will inevitably stare at your legs. That’s all negative. Let’s remember the big (happy) picture here: Thanks to some high-tech medical help, you are walking around when you might not be. How amazing is that?

Spend some time at home, first, baring your legs until you start to feel comfortable. (Not “old you” comfortable. We are aiming for a new normal now. Mostly comfy will do.) Then try shopping with your mom. After that, take your act to school. If people gawp, smile at them. If they ask what happened, say: “I was in a car crash. But thanks to some awesome doctors and nurses and physical therapists, I am wheeling around just fine. Isn’t that incredible?” You’ve got this, Lucy.

Texting Won’t Do

A good friend and I have a tradition of celebrating each other’s birthday with lunch and a nice gift. For her birthday this year, I set up the lunch in advance and bought a nice present, as usual. But on mine, I didn’t hear from her until the afternoon of the actual day, when she sent a “happy birthday” text and suggested lunch the next week. She clearly forgot. Am I wrong to be so hurt?

ANONYMOUS

My father’s birthday is Jan. 20 and my brother’s is Jan. 23 (or vice versa). For years, I tossed a coin or called my mother. (And I love them both.) Some people are simply better at remembering dates and managing their calendars. Absent additional indicators, don’t let one (near) slip poison the waters with a good pal.

That doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t real. This lunch seems important to you. So schedule it and tell her (gently) that her last-minute text made you feel a little neglected. She will probably take better care next year. If you still feel put out, there’s probably a deeper problem to explore.

He’s Over There, I’m Here

I went out with a guy for six months before his office transferred him to London. At his suggestion, we are trying a long-distance relationship. (I didn’t need much convincing; I’m in love with him.) But since he left town, he’s been careless about keeping in touch and lazy about planning visits. But just when I’m about to give up on him, he calls. What do you think? I don’t want to waste my 20s on someone who doesn’t love me back.

HENRY, NEW YORK

The only thing harder to navigate than long distance, in love, is ambivalence: when our beloved wants us just enough not to let us go. You are too young to remember Joan Armatrading. But do yourself a favor and listen to her song “All the Way From America” about a guy who calls from far away, asking his lover to hang on: “But the weeks and the months and the tears passed by, and my heart couldn’t stand the strain of that promised love.”

Go with your gut, Henry. Unless you are moving to London or think that, with encouragement, your boyfriend may step up his game, better to call it quits. Try not to be angry. Long-distance romance is hard to pull off. And if you know a little more about what you need now, I’d call that the opposite of wasting your time.

I’m Not Invited? Thanks!

A friend is having a baby, and there will soon be a ladies-only baby shower for her, hosted by her mother-in-law. My friend’s husband asked mine if I had been invited. (Our husbands are closer than we are.) I have not received an invitation. So her husband gave mine his mother’s phone number and said I should call her to ask for an invitation. Am I justified in being annoyed by this backdoor invitation? (Worse, I hate baby showers.)

K.B., NEW YORK

Why be annoyed? (I am certainly not letting you call the mother-in-law.) Don’t be upset at the pregnant woman, either. She has a lot on her mind. I blame the meddling husbands. (Don’t ask people if they’ve been invited to parties, people!) If your husband raises the subject again, ask him to keep out of it. Guests do not call for invitations. If you want to be sweet, send your friends a gift. We can be happy for new parents without sugary frosting or twee decorations.