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Maureen Dowd: The Washington Post does not deserve all the credit for the Pentagon Papers.

Tom Hanks: True. Confirm. And when you see our movie, The New York Times gets all of its due.

There is nothing better in this world than being Tom Hanks.

Ah, no. Deny. There’s better things.

David S. Pumpkins is your greatest work.

Confirm! Any questions?

Typewriters are making a comeback.

I’m going to confirm that. And I’ll tell you why: because you will not lose your data and no one can hack your typewriter.

Seeing typewriters as chic hotel décor is annoying.

That actually pisses me off.

Every time “You’ve Got Mail” is on cable TV, you stop to watch it.

No. Deny.

Dave Chappelle’s best work was in “You’ve Got Mail.”

I’m going to have to deny that because I’ve seen his work since. But that was Nora to a T. She was always ahead of the curve. You know who was a reference in “Sleepless in Seattle”? Seinfeld’s Soup Nazi! There’s a scene with Meg and Rosie, where Meg says about him, “he’s the meanest guy in the world, but he makes the best soup you’ve ever eaten.”

You want to run for president.

Deny. Because I wouldn’t want to answer the phone calls. I’m not trying to be flip. What would I have to offer other than I can make a speech every now and again? I mean, Clooney’s a guy to run. Talk to him. Oprah!

You get upset when Oprah is on David Geffen’s yacht and you are not.

That’s a deny. I control nobody’s guest list.

The scariest thing about President Trump is that he doesn’t read books.

Ah, deny, because there’s plenty of other scary things there. I think that he has no sense of history. He has no curiosity about history. So that’s the scariest thing.

You love little Polish cars called Maluchs.

Oh, the Fiats! Yeah, well, I love any goofy Communist car. The Communists just fascinate me.

You managed to get an apology and a retraction out of the National Enquirer.

Confirm.

You once wrote that Gary Cooper’s career could be summed up in one word: “Yup.” Your career can be summed up in one word, too.

Ah, Wilson. That’s what people yell at me.

You like posting on Instagram when you find a single glove or shoe.

That’s an absolute confirm! I think they are little visual haikus that have great potential stories.

You are part of the Illuminati.

Deny. Don’t believe it exists.

Stupid is as stupid does.

I will confirm that.