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Vows

By ALIX STRAUSS

Gregory DelliCarpini Jr. and Lorenzo Vinti have Marie Assante and a weekly Sunday screening of “True Blood” to thank for their marriage.

It was Ms. Assante, a publicist, who invited Mr. Vinti, her high school friend and a clinical social worker who grew up in Ridgewood, Queens, to her friend’s house in March 2012 to watch HBO’s vampire thriller.

Unbeknown to Mr. Vinti, now 35, she had also invited Mr. DelliCarpini, now 28, another close friend. Mr. DelliCarpini, who is from Lindenhurst, N.Y., was a fashion editor at Billboard magazine, and is the founder of the Oystercoloredvelvet.com, a men’s style, travel and music site.

“I knew that Lorenzo and Gregory would click,” Ms. Assante said. “I just needed to get them in a room and let fate take over. They didn’t start their relationship that day, but something was about to happen. You could feel it.”

Both attended another Sunday showing. Looks were exchanged. The two developed a sarcastic “texting” rapport and friendship.

Mr. DelliCarpini thought Mr. Vinti was kind and thoughtful.

“He was so calm and honest,” Mr. DelliCarpini said of Mr. Vinti. “He made me laugh with my whole self. He reminded me of home.”

Mr. Vinti was drawn to Mr. DelliCarpini’s creativity and positive attitude. “He made it seem like anything was possible,” Mr. Vinti said. “And I loved how, from the beginning, it always felt like it was just the two of us, even in a crowded room.”

Then Ms. Assante led a group trip to Iceland. Both men went long.

When they returned, Mr. Vinti sent a text asking Mr. DelliCarpini to go out with him.

“I knew two things: I would have to be the aggressor because Gregory is so shy,” Mr. Vinti said. “And that he liked strawberry shortcake and prosecco, so I made sure to have those for him.”

They met up for Asian food in Forest Hills, Queens, where Mr. Vinti lived. Then they returned to his apartment.

“We watched the movie ‘Monster,’” he said. “I was so on edge, I don’t remember any of it. I just remember thinking, ‘Are we going to kiss?’ When I thought it was time to go, I headed toward the door, and that’s when Lorenzo kissed me, which was amazing.”

On July 4, Mr. DelliCarpini showed up with a box that held a cupcake, one of Mr. Vinti’s favorite sweets, and a message.

“When I opened the box, Gregory had written, ‘Will you be my boyfriend?’ and two boxes to check yes or no,” Mr. Vinti said. “It was really cute.” He quickly checked yes.

In July, they booked a trip to Panama. In August, Mr. DelliCarpini moved in with Mr. Vinti. There was one hitch: Mr. Vinti’s family still did not know about his sexual orientation.

Describing his parents as private and formal people, he added, “I wanted to avoid hurting them, even if it meant not feeling like my authentic self around them.”

Mr. DelliCarpini had long been openly gay.

“My parents have known I’m gay since I was 5,” he said. “I would refuse to eat until Madonna’s ‘Open Your Heart’ video would play, so it wasn’t a surprise. When I moved in with Lorenzo, he wasn’t out to his family or at his job. I respected that and understood.

“Some of my friends would say it was a challenge or issue, but it was never a problem. I knew this was a process, that Lorenzo would tell his family and people at work when he was ready. What I couldn’t wait for was to get rid of his furniture — a drab couch with two matching side tables.”

That first week, Mr. Vinti came home and found Mr. DelliCarpini and Ms. Assante seated in his living room, which was filled with new furnishings.

“Every day, a room would be a different color with new art on the walls,” Mr. Vinti said. “I’ve learned to go with the flow.”

In 2015, the theme was traveling. In April and May, they visited France, Germany, Hungary, Italy, Malta and Portugal. At each port of call, Mr. DelliCarpini expected to pop the question. But the timing never felt right.

“I didn’t want to stage it,” he said. “I wanted it to feel organic. And at every postcard spot, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t feel authentic. I was nervous. I never had the ring. I don’t like lying, and if he saw it, I wouldn’t know what to say. I wanted to recreate a moment we had in bed where we were talking and laughing and were so connected.”

In August, Mr. DelliCarpini was in Los Angeles for business, and Mr. Vinti joined him.

“It was my first time there,” Mr. Vinti said. “I’d taken a 4 a.m. flight and was so exhausted. All I wanted to do was sleep, but Gregory planned a day of sightseeing, and I didn’t want to let him down.”

That night, Mr. Vinti dozed off, and when he awoke, Mr. DelliCarpini was staring at him.

“While I was watching Lorenzo sleep, I got that same feeling when we were in New York and laughing in bed and were just so connected,” he said. “So I asked him to marry me.”

Mr. Vinti thought it was a joke.

“I didn’t answer right away because I thought he wasn’t serious,” Mr. Vinti said. “Then he asked again. There was no ring or anything but I said yes. I had no idea he was thinking about this for over a year. I thought I knew everything about him.”

A few days later, they returned to New York with matching rose gold bands — from Cartier on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, Calif., on their right ring fingers. (When they wed, the couple moved them to their left hands.)

Now Mr. Vinti would need to tell his family.

“I’d been living with him for three years,” Mr. Vinti said, “and they still didn’t know I was gay. When I think of how Gregory’s accepted me and helped me accept myself, and never pressured me to do anything unless it was on my terms, I knew it was time to come out to my family. If everyone rejected me and Gregory was still there, that would have been O.K., too.”

First Mr. Vinti told his younger brother. Then his sister. His older brother and, finally, his parents. Everyone was accepting.

“Even my father,” he said. “It shocked me. It was the opposite of what I expected in my head would happen. My parents are extremely religious, so when my mother finally met Gregory, she said, ‘You look just like Jesus.’ That was an icebreaker.”

Gregory’s mother, Barbara DelliCarpini, said: “I always wanted to have four boys; now I do. I couldn’t ask for a better person for Gregory. I love Lorenzo. I never met two people more compatible.”

Davide Vinti, the youngest of the four siblings, said the two were perfect for each other.

“Gregory has a carefree spirit, and Lorenzo is a little more tightly wound, like all of us in my family, so they keep each other in check,” he said.

On June 3, Mr. DelliCarpini and Mr. Vinti were married in front of 80 guests at the Oak Room at the Plaza hotel in Manhattan. Ms. Assante presided over the ceremony.

Mr. DelliCarpini and Mr. Vinti were told that they were the first same-sex couple to be married in the Oak Room, which opened in 1907.

“The Oak Room is one of the most wonderful, historic rooms,” Mr. DelliCarpini said. “I knew it was a men’s-only club filled with men who had beards, smoked cigars, had whiskey breath and tragically, boring conversation. It’s the kind of men I can’t stand being next to. I like that we get to christen it to something else.”

Mr. Vinti, who was standing next to his beaming husband, had similar sentiments.

“This is like a dream,” he said. “Being at the Oak Room and feeling like it’s ours for the night is magic.”

He added: “When I started hearing the music playing, I thought, ‘This is actually happening.’ After we said our vows and then kissed, that was the most amazing part. It was like that moment in bed when we were so connected. We haven’t felt that in a long time because of the stress of the wedding, but that kiss just then brought it all back.”